Reflections on the Proverbs 31 Woman

Proverbs 31 is the founding scripture for More than Rubies. So we've asked a number of women that we love and admire to give us their reflections on the Proverbs 31 Woman. These are women of different ages, nationalities, stages of life and church backgrounds, but all of them living their lives outrageously for God - and we love them for that!

So what do you think of the Proverbs 31 Woman? Do you see her as an unattainable model? Are you left intimidated by this biblical superwoman? Is she relevant for our 21st century world, and does she have anything to say to all the single ladies?

 

See how our contributors tackle this passage, and be ready to be surprised and challenged by their insights and perspectives.

Reflections are being added all the time - do come back and check soon.
 

Reflection on Proverbs 31:10-31 A campaign started in November 2011, after a University student wrote as his facebook status: “I'd rather have a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria's Secret model”. People across America - and beyond - began posting and re-posting this status as their own. It grew from a simple comment into a movement, which expressed the view that one particular take on ‘beauty’ – tall, flawless and skinny - has nothing to compare to the rich variety of gifts of a Proverbs 31 woman. So what is this impressive woman like? Firstly, her mind: she’s intelligent, organised and creative. Secondly, her heart: she’s generous, caring and selfless. Thirdly, her soul: she’s joyful, peaceful and wise. Fourthly, her strength: she’s dexterous, resilient and hard working. She’s a woman who is living to the full in all the dimensions in which we’re called to love God. But most importantly for me, she does all of this lightly: “she can laugh at the days to come” (verse 25).  She has the right perspective on life and doesn’t take herself too seriously. She isn’t driven by all the activities that she’s involved in; she isn’t an anxious Martha, concerned how others will judge her.  Whilst the Proverbs 31 facebook movement is well-intentioned, for some it could set another impossibly high bar. I have little business sense. I am terrible at sewing. I’m pretty much a weakling. But when I stop comparing myself, stop worrying about how I fall short, stop fearing other people’s opinions, and turn my attention to fear the Lord alone, then my whole perspective shifts. This is the one thing that is required of us all, whatever our talents, whatever our circumstances. As we sit, accepted, at Jesus’ feet, we can be free from striving to please. And only from this place of security may all the other Proverbs 31 qualities take root and grow. Alexandra Lilley Ordinand at St Mellitus & Assistant Minister at St Mary, Islington

When I think of the Proverbs 31 woman, I wonder if she ever found time to sleep. I wonder if she stayed awake at night worrying about her husband, her children, her work or about the future. I wonder if she realised she is the perfect standard of what a godly woman should be, or whether she felt she still had a long way to go. Did she have fat days or bad hair days? Did she worry about what others thought of her? Did she fret about the many things she was involved in? Was she always wishing she had more time? Or was she merely focussed and determined on the things that were important to her: God, her family, her work, and taking care of those around her? As women – single or otherwise – we have no greater role model than this woman. Because she is nameless, she is everywoman. Or at least we all have the potential to be her. Some might be daunted by her – is she an impossible standard we can never live up to? Especially in today’s society where there is the pressure to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, with the perfect career – and a wardrobe to match. But I love a challenge. And Proverbs 31 is a reminder that I am far from sorted, but is an inspiration for me to strive to be all that God wants me to be – in every area of my life.

Chine Mbubaegbu
Editor of idea magazine

 

My thoughts on Proverbs 31:10-31 When I read about the woman in Proverbs 31 I get excited, but that was not how I felt some years ago when I didn’t understand it the way I do now. I used to think that I had to be some kind of superwoman that juggled so many balls without letting any of them drop! I thought I had to cater to the needs of my husband, the children’s needs, keep the house spotless and hold down a full time 9-5 job! Then as my relationship with the Lord began to deepen, I realised that “….a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” The Bible teaches that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. When you walk in the fear of the Lord, obeying His word and having a heart that wants to please Him, He will give you the wisdom to develop and exhibit the exceptional qualities of the woman we read about in Proverbs 31 – being diligent, industrious, hardworking, compassionate, confident etc. And for the single ladies, when you walk in the fear of the Lord, the Spirit of God will teach you how to develop and exhibit these exceptional qualities so that you will be found by a man who will praise you and have children who will rise up and call you blessed. Sade Kaffo Minister of the gospel and founder of Listening Ears Ministry

Smiling at the days to come

The woman in Proverbs 31 is such a gem. Like a diamond, she has many facets. She is a home-maker, an entrepreneur and an artisan. Her character is noble; her heart is big. She loves her work, her family and those in need. She mentors with sound advice. Undoubtedly, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of her wisdom. 

No wonder her husband is proud of her. His praise crowns her beautiful life. 

As a single woman I have always found the text such an inspiration for the kind of person I want to become and the kind of worship I want offer. For, my waking, my work, my relationships and my love for a needy world are facets that express my love and service to the Lord. I want Him to have confidence in me so that He can entrust me with the people and tasks He has destined for me. I want to bring Him good, every day. 

It was just one verse in this beautiful sequence that I found problematic: “She can smile at the days to come” (verse 25). I had developed from a responsible little girl into a responsible mature woman. Yet, I had always remained a worrier - feeling the weight of responsibility and doubting my ability to rise to the challenges.  

Worrying looks more like a frown than a smile. It’s a facet of my character that needed to be shaped by God’s word and Spirit. Over the years I have learned that the tasks He gives me are also matched by his enabling. His wisdom, strength, comfort and confidence in me have taught me not to frown at the days to come, but to smile. 

He is after all the jeweler, who took this rough diamond and is shaping all facets of my life into the gem He had in mind when He created me. Brilliant! 

Marijke Hoek
Co-editor of Micah’s Challenge.The Church’s Responsibility to the Global Poor
 

She Stoops to Conquer It would be easy to misjudge the women God chooses. Women like Leah the weak-eyed sister, Ruth who brazenly offered herself to an older man, Tamar who slept with her father-in law, Rahab the provider of special services on the wall of Jericho and Mary the illegitimate parent, to name a few. What is it these virtuous women had in common? Was it their willingness to fight for what they believe in, their unshakeable faith, their unrelenting hope that the future will be better than the past? It was perhaps all of the above but they also had a certain je-ne-sais-quoi, which I shall call their Vulnerability. The Vulnerable Woman is often interpreted as one who is either weak and desperately needy at one extreme, or willing to use her womanhood to manipulate men at the other. But real vulnerability is neither weak nor controlling. It is, in fact, fiercely strong and wonderfully empowering. It takes great strength to offer your beauty and love to a world that does not understand it, that may ridicule, despise or even reject it. Yet, it is this very offer of feminine beauty, strength and love that the world so desperately needs. If you don’t believe me, have a think about what men manage to accomplish without us. It is a shame that the virtuous woman is often portrayed simply as the one who is softly spoken, quite pretty, with well-behaved children, who helps out at the cake stall. While all those things are good, it is not the full story, not nearly. The stories of Ruth, Leah, Tamar, Rahab, Mary and countless others, show that the true heart of a virtuous woman is strong, daring, faithful and vulnerable. It would have been far easier to hide and maintain the status quo. But these were women who dared to live their God-given dreams despite their history and circumstances. Their vulnerability came from their determination to break their earthen vessel of self-protection, so that, as it did with Gideon, the glory within can manifest and the victory be won. They were willing to stoop to conquer, trusting that God would do what was right by them and He turned their Vulnerability into Victory, showing generations of women how to be the vulnerable, virtuous victors they were created to be. Jenny Lee Founder & Director of Jericho Films Productions and the I Will Tell International Film Festival www.iwilltell.com

 

Views expressed in these submissions are the personal views of the contributors and not necessarily those of More than Rubies. Acceptance of submission does not imply endorsement. More than Rubies takes no responsibility for the content of external websites.